9 ways to feel less guilt

Worrying excessively about things you should have done or should be doing is bad for your health. While you might feel like this type of stress is taking over your mind, the simple strategies below will help set your mind free of guilty feelings.

1. Determine your priorities, write them down, then stick the list on your fridge and in your office. Next time you start feeling guilty about something you didn't do, check the list. If it's not in the top three priorities, you're off the hook.

2. Accept some selfishness. It really is okay to look out for yourself.

3. Don't leave guilt unresolved, particularly if it relates to an older relative such as a parent. Address the issues that matter to you so that you're not left with regrets you can't address.

4. Ask yourself, "Would I forgive someone else for doing/not doing what I did/didn't do?" If the answer is yes, then (to paraphrase the golden rule) do unto yourself as you would have yourself do unto others.

5. Commit to saying no at least once a day – no guilt allowed.

6. Talk to a relative or friend who recalls the incident about which you're feeling guilty. Often our own memories are not the most accurate; your feelings of guilt may be coming from something that really didn't happen the way you remember it.

7. Stop asking, "What if?" Instead, start asking, "What now?" Put another way, stop thinking about things you've already done and can't change, and instead focus on the present – what you can do today to make your life and the world around you better.

8. Take five minutes in the morning to feel guilty. Then either resolve what's triggering the guilt (for example, call your mother) or forgive yourself for what you did that you shouldn't have done, knowing that you've learned your lesson and won't do it again.

9. Write a cheque to a charity. That's doing something concrete with your guilt. If you're feeling guilty about eating that chocolate cake last night, go for a long walk today. If you feel guilty about the long hours you've been spending at work, organize a day off and spend the time with your children and/or partner doing what they want.